I Want Her Back

By her I mean myself, I have to get back, everything is so murky right now. So scary, so upsetting, so frustrating. I've never been this gone, I've never really been gone... that probably doens't help. Realizing I've never really had to work for anything ever used to be something I was so proud of. I'd think "Oh, I guess I just dont have to work very hard in life, good things just always happen to me." Everything ALWAYS worked out. I'm not regretting that, because I wouldn't have been able to deal then either but It's just a lot to take in. By no means am I saying that I've never had to work hard or have struggles would be a lie, but nothing that really made me step back and take a really hard look.

Hearing (over and over again, from EVERYBODY) "You have this problem, and you are the only one who can fix it or make it any better!" is not what anybody wants to hear, but it's not about what I want anymore, except me wanting to get better, I need too. I need to do this so I can have life back to the way it was and not hate myself so much.

I was to wake up tomorrow and be like "Damn, that was a bad dream!" and I think I have been telling myself that is going to happen... can we arrange an appointment for someone to slap me across the face? I've been thinking it will all just go away, and it wont... I actually have to work at something I have no experience in and that scares the shit out of me.

Embellished Dishcloths: Part 1

Yesterday evening, Sarah & I went out around the town for some fun! I really needed this girl time :-) We went to Craft warehouse (found some goodies), Goodwill (found some more goodies) and Target... not so many goodies, except we each scored 2 packs of 6 Flour Sack Dishcloths! Each pack of 6 was less than $3.00 each! Why were we so interested in Flour Sack dishcloths you ask? Well, while we were at Craft warehouse they had a display and free directional how-to sheet (lost mine, reason for this blog actually) for Embellished Dishcloths. I was really into this idea, sounded so fun and *ahem* can you say, PERFECT CHRISTMAS GIFTS??? ;-D So today I washed all my dishcloths, I was really excited to get started... and then I could not find the little pale yellow direction sheet anywhere, I even peeked into the garbage, and no luck, left to my own devices I realized I had this handy tool, that I use several times a day that could help me...internet. So I googled and.... voila! Some lady (I greatly appreciate this stranger today, lol) did a whole tutorial, Embellishments For Decorative Dishcloths. So that is the tutorial I am going to use and I will post another blog soon about how I may have did mine differently, along with pictures of mine.

So I have 12 Flour Sack dishcloths to embellish and make all cute and fancy, and 3 (white, tan/khaki, and chocolate brown) I bought at Craft Ware house that are thicker and smaller.

My Love

So I finally got a Nikon D-40 SLR. Dylan took me to get it the last Sunday in April and I have barely put it down since. I've gotten so many good pics, I'll post some now.

Subtle Changes...

Why lie? I'm one of the millions of people obsessed with the Twilight phenomenon... I read all the books (almost done with Breaking Dawn) and seriously that's saying something, I don't read. I'm not against reading but I have adhd and it takes an amazing write to suck me in to the point I can't put it down, Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn all had that effect on me, as well as almost all of my friends.

I love the movie, however, Bella frusturates me to no end! She (in the book) is much different, she's got the same lines and actions of course but I dont think they cast the right girl, I know that it would be horrible to change her now (as they begin filming New Moon in March) but still, some points in the movie where you're unaware it's a movie because you're so sucked in, she says a line and you go "why did you do that" not the line of course, her facial expressions, pauses, and odd mannerisms... oh well right?

Edward was amazing! Robert Pattinson did an amazing job. I have no complaints, he's not hard on the eyes either.

Mike Newton... Eh, could have been better but they didn't do sooo terribly casting him

Jessica... PERFECT! She's one of my favorite characters in the movie, but not so much in the book, it's wierd but the girl who plays her did an awesome job, I'm very impressed!

Charlie did great also, one of my favorite characters, he has some hilarious lines!

Alice is my favorite for the Vampires (aside from Edward) she's so fairy like, and dainty, and graceful.

Eventful Drive Home & Birthday's Recap!

Where do I begin, Well I will start by saying I'm thankful to alive! That is a bit dramatic, but seriously last night was dramatic! I will go into full detail about my crash and the Urgency Care and all the details in the second half of this blog.
First however, I would like to do a short but interesting recap of my Birthdays. My Birthday is January 10th, 1988, and in the last couple of years, that day has ended up being full of interesting stuff.

~With each Birthday described below I have included a link to an interesting event that also happening the same day. Just click the date enclosed in the dashes (-January 10th 200_-) to see another event!~

• My 16th Birthday -January 10th, 2004- We had a huge ice storm! I had an old friend of mine Randie, come over the night before and the next day it was huge snow storm, and she barely got home! So I ended up spending my whole Sweet 16 Inside, probably playing with Andrew and MySpacing.

• My 17th Birthday -January 10th, 2005- Not much weather wise, but we had just had or gotten over ice, and wind storm. I had just started flirting online with Dylan and was anxious to meet him, but we didn't until February 4th.

• My 18th Birthday -January 10th, 2006- Was amazing! My mom threw me a big Hello Kitty Birthday Party & Jake, Abby & Alec, Conrad & Lauren, and Kayla all came over. (I had been with Dylan for nearly 1 year and we were about to move into his mother's basement together, and we were stoked!) Dylan got me a huge Garnet Ring!

• My 19th Birthday -January 10th, 2007- (the evening I was proposed too!) We were iced in, and living in the basement of my mother-in-law's house in Ridgefield. I later found out it nearly ruined the evening. Dylan had big plans to take me out to dinner then propose, but we were snowed in, so he did it on the couch! I will always remember it, and I am thankful we were at home, because I was in tears and crying and so on and so forth.

• My 20th -January 10th, 2008- Birthday was nearly the most interesting in my mind as for the weather in concerned. I had a morning shift then went home for a while to clean house and eat lunch, and then I had a longer afternoon shift. I got a call from Dylan as I was driving to my afternoon shift and he was nearly frantic, I was worried something had happend to him, or at work or what. He said "Are you at home?" I replied "No. I'm driving to work. Why? What's wrong?" he sounded very worried and then he informed me of a Tornado (<- Link to the channel 12 Fox News article covering the story) that had taken place just 1/2 mile north of our apartment complex on Fruit Valley Road. I got to work and my clients mom had the story on the news as I walked in and she smiled at me and goes, "Nae-Nae got a Tornado for her Birthday!" Needless to say it was very memorable!
  

• My 21st Birthday -January 10th, 2009- is on Saturday and since I am turning 21 everybody has tons of plans I guess, well more like 3 groups but I'm excited. On my Birthday I will be able to say "3 Days ago, I was rear ended..."

The Accident

So a short run through goes as follows, I was driving home from work, going West on Fourth Plain Blvd. I got into the turn lane to yield (check the on coming traffic) and as I was putting my hand on the stick shift to shift into first I feel a huge bump and this silver (late 1990's model) Pontiac 2 door sports car rear ended me!!! I had whip lash and my neck was already hurting pretty bad. I turned off my car and got cell phone and keys in hand, and approached his vehicle. Now, mind you I have never been in this situation before, (well I have but last time It was my fault and happened in the Ridgefeild Post Office Parking lot, I backed into a truck and the lady driver was very forgiving) this time I was the one who needed to be forgiving and I am completely not! I looked at the 30 something bald male, with his dark blond facial hair and said "I need to exchange information with you please" and he said "okay", so I went back to my car to get a pen and paper, at which time I also called Dylan and had him hurry down so I was less vulnerable. The guy rolled down his window to suggest, "We should pull into the parking lot so we can get out of the way of traffic" Sounded like I decent enough request and a good idea, who wants to cause another accident right? So I get into my car, pull into the Arco Shell gasoline station and as soon as I was out of his way he took off!!! I know I am stunned and so pissed as well. So I panicked I called 911 and told them what happened, and a green civic had watched the whole thing happen and offered to chase him to get his license plate number, which he got the 3 letters. All of this information I gave to the police officer and so they made a report and all the insurance got worked out and so on... so here I am today, hanging with my cousin, doped up on Flexerol (muscle relaxor) and viccodin (pain med/wonder pill) so yea... how was your evening last night? lol

Making "A" Quilt

The little brother will be 11 on February 2nd, 2009. Yes he is our little Groundhog. Well I never know what to get him, rarely do most people, and I decided to sew him a nice big comfy cozy fun quilt! He will love it, I know him pretty well (we have a connection) and I am already planning this quilt because I know what I want it to be: Big Enough (not huge but like big enough to keep him warm and no bigger than a comforter) so I want to do something special (and new to my beginner sewing skills) and put a big A on it... I know it sounds adorable right? I'm so excited!

I also made this quilt last night,

Bane's American Picnic Rag Quilt!

up close view of the middle of the front side

The back of it, simple but cute!

My first ever Rag Quilt. I'm rather impressed with how well it came out, and it's so very cute! I like the way you do them also, the X over each square then assembly and the whole thing turned out very nice. I also used a special idea for the basic color and fabrics, I had the husband set up my machine so I had RED thread and BLUE bobbin... why you ask? Well I sewed it right side up for X on the red checkered and upside down for the blue... it came out much cleaner and more professional.
So I'm googling "Quilting Letters" and so on and so far I have found these styles,

Just the letter A of course, a whole name or more would be way to hard and wouldn't come out nearly as good as I want his quilt to. So I will maybe experiment with more letters or even words as I get better but I think just his first letter would be sufficient.
I also stepped on my clean ruler... I'm basically unable to do more until I get a new one but I am such a goof! I could glue it but eh, I wont risk using a "straight edge" that isnt exactly straight, I mean what would it do? no no, I just need to get a new one!

Cousin's Sophie!

Kayla (my cousin) recently got a Yorkie! She's so little and cute and her name is Sophie Rose! I was over at Kayla's yesterday playing wii with her and Sophie and I were playing tug-o-war and I quickly shot a video